What a joy it is to be known!
I think of my best friends and the happiness we share when we get the opportunity to share every detail of our lives, big and small, with each other. Especially since we all go to different schools and have crazy summers with months and months apart. To know each other and be known by them is one of the greatest happinesses I know on this earth!
Just last night we had to plan a facetime call because I’ve got one friend in Yellowstone and one in New Hampshire for summer camp so there was time differences, wifi issues, sleeping grandparents, and all sorts of issues to work out. I was so dead tired after a week of day camp at my church but the thought of hearing their voices gave me energy I didn’t know I had after 30 hours corralling a bunch of 1st and 2nd graders!
To be with people who know me so intimately, who care for me so tenderly, is such a vivid picture of what our relationship with God is like.
I took an ACT test last weekend (my last official college-y test, hooray!) just because I had already signed up for it before I got my SAT scores back so I was not looking forward to it. If you read last week’s post, I’m Building a City (because God told me to), you know that my SATs took care of my future for the next few years, so I was grudgingly going to spend hours taking this other unnecessary test.
To add to my frustration I originally signed up for the Essay portion of the test before I found out that most colleges (specifically the one I’m looking at) don’t look at the Essay scores at all. On the website, it sounded like I could do the same thing as I did with the SAT where I could opt out of it day-of when I went to sign in. Things didn’t work that way though, so it was basically either take it with the extra hour of Essay or lose your spot in the test center. Even more frustrated now, I made my way to my testing room and sat down for 5 hours of mental torture.
And yeah, some of it was pretty bad. Specifically, math and science. Yeah, those things that lead to careers where you can fiscally support yourself with ease. Those things that, because of my grades, I’ve grown up having everyone tell me I have to go into. Those STEM subjects that are held up on a pedestal and anybody who can reach at least an adequate understanding should grab onto them for a secure future.
Those same things that God is literally pointing every neon sign in the cosmos in the other direction of. I used to understand math and science as easily as I do reading and writing but now they’re like a foreign language to me, so I guess I should celebrate that!
I’ve prayed for direction, and God is answering by slowing (or at least not growing) my understanding in certain areas while showing me how He wants to grow me in other areas. So yeah, when I die in chemistry and pre-calc next year, I have to remind myself that that its Christ’s working to guide and sanctify me for His glory.
So then I get to the essay. I’m feeling better at this point because most of the test is behind me and I also had some pretzels so life was good.
The question was about TV and why people still choose to watch so much of it if they know it’s bad. So I delivered the freakin’ Gospel message because what else do I want to write about for an hour?
We’ve got the intro paragraph introducing the premise that people are innately sinful and quotes a little bit of Paul with the whole “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15), paragraph one about the sin nature that permeates every part of our lives and causes us to knowingly choose wrong, paragraph two about why TV is so attractive to our sin nature as well as my fancy antithesis about how TV can be informative (hello History channel, Discovery Channel, and morning news), and then hit ’em hard with a closing that explained that our fallenness is so debilitating it shows up even in our TV watching habits and that just shows how much we need a Savior all the more.
So depending on who grades my essay I might get a bad score because of issues with the content. But anyways, the point is that THAT was my favorite part. The part that was the most annoying and the most dreaded before hand ended up being the highlight of my test! Getting to write about Jesus was such a blessing that I had colored grey with my glass half empty mindset.
So basically, if you didn’t see where I was going with this, God knows me so much better than I know myself. To go from someone who not in a million-years would catch myself going into anything but a lucrative STEM career to someone who sees their true calling as full-time ministry is such a crazy change of directions that it could only be the work of a God who knows the number of hairs on my head and placed the deepest desires of my heart.
The joy I feel when I’m around my best friends is the same joy I feel when I immerse myself in my relationship with the Lord. He is my Maker, He continues to shape me for His glory. I am known more than I can understand.